Driving school 101

I seriously want to know where some people learn to drive. How can some people be so bad at one thing? The amount of people here in Orem/Provo that can't drive is seriously beyond my belief. Driving is not that difficult. Usually it involves pressing on one of two pedals and steering a wheel that is in front of you. Most importantly though, it involves paying a small amount of attention to what is going on around you. #1 on that list is freakin speed limit. 35 mph does not mean 25 mph or 30 mph. I would even venture to say that it doesn't mean 35 mph. A 35 mph sign is really a minimum speed limit, not the maximum. Also, has anyone here ever heard of a turning signal? When you change lanes or turn please use them. If you are too lazy to move you fingers 3 inches, then you suck at life. Honestly. Its a common courtesy. Which leads me to my next point. For those who can't chew gum and walk at the same time, please don't talk on your cell phone and drive at the same time. I'm sorry Dad, this includes you. I think your wife would agree. Haha. But really, some people should just not be allowed to drive and talk on a cell phone at the same time. Its seems as though every time I am behind some a-hole driving 10 miles below the speed limit, i pass them and of course they are on a phone. Its usually some dumb soccer mom in her Tahoe or minivan. I want to throw things at their car.

Last but not least, here is a list of drivers that piss me off. Read carefully, you could be one of them...

The Grandpa - This guy can barely see over the steering wheel and is usually driving a car made in the 1970's that is made by either Buick, Cadillac, or Lincoln. Not only should this guy not be driving, he probably shouldn't be out on his own. If you need a walker to get from your house to your car, you are too old to drive. Also included in this category is the old grandma.
Chosen sticker: Mitt Romeny 2008 campaign sticker. Or maybe even worse, a W '04 sticker.

The Teenager - This idiot is usually seen around town in a Honda Civic that is a few years old. His car has a loud system that sounds like crap and usually some lame rims that don't look good. He is frequently witnessed not using his blinkers and cutting people off. I want to punch him in the face.
Chosen sticker: Some dumb oversized sticker of a company that you have never heard of like
ANON that takes up the entire rear window.

The Soccer Mom - As previously stated, she is usually on a phone with a car full of kids. Since its Utah, she is probably grossly over weight and driving a large SUV or minivan.
Chosen sticker: Either the stick figure family of them and their kids, a stupid mormon sticker
like RULDS2 or RWH, or both.

The Hispanic - Now I were in California I would rant about how slow asians drive but there aren't really many up here in Utah. They are replaced by the Hispanic. Usually driving a dilapidated economy car from the 80's or an Astro van. They love the Astro van for some reason. This category drives extremely slow, probably more than any other. I don't know if its because there aren't many cars in Mexico or if the speed limits are lower there or what. But its terrible and I hate being behind them.
Chosen sticker: Whatever crappy,cracked, half-falling sticker was on the car when they
bought it. If they do add there own sticker its usually something with the Mexican flag or
with the virgin Mary.

These are only a few of the bad drivers. Also keep an eye out for The Bro who drives a raised truck and apparently owns the road and The Woman who thinks putting on makeup is more important that staying in the boundaries of that thing we all like to a lane. Thank you for listening to this rant.


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